In Les Miserables there is a moment in Jean Valjean's life, where he finds himself a free man, fresh from his parole. He meets a chimney sweep and proceeds to con him out of his money. Realizing that this is not the man he is, he then runs after the chimney sweep to give him back his money. But it is too late, the boy is nowhere to be found. Who am I, Jean Valjean asks himeself, Who am I?
I've been asking myself this the last few days since I started taking my medication. I haven't been behaving like myself. I've been pannicky, I've been irrate, I've been snappy, I've been demanding, I've been selfish, I've been cranky, I've been whiny, I've been moody, I've been depressed, I've been downright rude... things that are not necessarily me. I basically become all the worst aspects of me. And when I think about the way I've acted or behaved, it makes me sick to my stomach. I won't get better if I stop taking my medication, but I'd rather just suffer through the sickness than hurt the people close to me I love the most.
Medication is not helping the sleep cycle. I didn't sleep at all last night.
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